NAPAHE and Networking: It's OK to Talk to Strangers
NAPAHE and Networking: It's OK to Talk to Strangers
Written by Michele C. Shaler
Executive Assistant to the President at Biola University
My role can be lonely. When I was first hired, my president cautioned me, “If you ever want to talk about what goes on in this office, don’t.”
To be an effective assistant, I need to remain in his Circle of Trust, and this means I’m limited in what I can share with colleagues at my institution. NAPAHE Conferences have become my lifeline – to trade war stories, blow off steam and learn best practices. The relationships I’ve made through networking have been instrumental in my professional growth. Here’s my advice for how to talk to strangers and make meaningful connections.
Initially, networking can be hard on an introvert, even in a hotel ballroom full of like-minded professionals. You can’t very well open a conversation with, “A donor is on my last nerve, any tips??”
When you see opportunities for pre-conference networking, take them! You’ll feel more comfortable if you know a few people ahead of time and in doing so, you’ll start the process of learning and growing before you even walk into the first conference session.
Look through the conference app ahead of time to see who is registered, and if there are people or institutions that intrigue you, seek them out. At my second conference I looked for faith-based schools in the hope of finding peers with similar campus cultures and challenges. Then I invited a bunch of them to dinner on our free night, and this resulted in some fruitful, long-term professional relationships that continue to this day!
At the conference meals, the easiest conversation opener is to squint thoughtfully at someone’s name tag while asking about their institution and role. A softball follow-up question could be “What do you like about your work?”
Next, go a little deeper: “What are the hardest parts of your job?” or “What do you do to stay sane in such a high-pressure role?” or “Where do you see yourself in five years?”
You can even get creative with it: “What’s a personal project that gives you joy?” or “Can you recommend a book you’ve recently read?”
And if you feel some camaraderie: “When was the last time you sobbed under your desk?”
It’s a good practice to prepare an elevator pitch intro for any situation in which you’re asked to introduce yourself. Keep it brief, and hit only the most significant or unique points. You are interesting! Make sure other people know it – by curating your pitch to engage people with meaningful information.
Here’s an example: I’ve been in my role of Executive Assistant to the President with the same president for 15 years. I enjoy making coffee for my boss because I value hospitality in our office. I smile at 100% of the people who come to my desk, and I mean it 90% of the time. I use Chat GPT unapologetically. I fully expect to someday pass away in my chair.
Look around you in breakout sessions and at roundtable discussions. Are you seeing the same people? Chances are if these people are choosing the same topics as you, they have a similar role or are facing similar challenges. If you see the same person at three sessions, you could introduce yourself and note that you seem to have some things in common. (Don’t say, “It’s like you’re in my head!” That would be creepy.)
A great way to connect with a speaker if something particular resonates with you is to linger afterward for a brief conversation. It can be as simple as a compliment and exchange of business cards (Tip: Be sure to bring a stack of your business cards to the conference). If you’re feeling ambitious, ask a follow-up question or volunteer an insight of your own. This establishes the start of a relationship you can return to via email (or in person at the next conference) if you want to deepen your understanding of their topic or ask for advice about a situation.
I found that my own networking took a huge step forward when I got more involved in NAPAHE through facilitating roundtable conversations, serving on the Conference Planning Committee, leading breakout sessions and eventually becoming a board member. There’s nothing like the pressure-cooker of an important shared task – or even a crisis! – to make friends out of peers.
After the conference, what do you do with all those business cards? Make notes on them during the conference so you will remember how you connected, then follow up via email within a month to revive the conversation you had: “It was great meeting you at the NAPAHE Conference a couple of weeks ago! I hope to stay in touch because we have in common [a similarly challenging boss, a passion for pencils, a role at an HBCU]. Would it be okay if I reached out from time to time?” Set a calendar reminder to follow up periodically. If the relationship takes root, great! You’ve now got a respected peer at another institution. If it fizzles, that’s okay too. There’s always the next conference to make more connections.
