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A View from the Other Side: Life After the President’s Office
Anonymous Guest Columnist
Written for the August 2024 Member Newsletter
I don’t need to describe to NAPAHE members the stress that comes with being a PA or how much of ourselves we pour into our jobs. Many, no doubt, have found a way to maintain some balance in their lives. Others are still trying after decades. For me, after being a PA for so long, I was just plain tired – and headed fast to the kind of unhealthfulness that takes years to recover from, if at all.
If you are considering moving on, be prepared for your ego to take a hit. Remember that everyone is replaceable. You may have served for 10, 20, or even 30 years and yet, after you walk out the door, your institution will go on. As much as we like to think we are essential, no one is. The longevity of the institution depends on it.
When I decided it was time for a change, I prepared for my transition out of the president’s office by thinking clearly and deeply about the implications. Still, some things caught me completely by surprise. Others were different from what I anticipated, and often a refreshing change.
I gave the most thought to the fact that I would no longer be “in the know,” and I thought I was prepared for this. But the change proved immediate and jarring. Not only was I no longer in the loop, I no longer had a voice in the myriad of issues that an administration handles on a day-to-day basis. My opinion and my fought-for expertise no longer mattered. This change was tough, and I confess I still grapple with it a little bit even after a few years. The upside of this is that I no longer spend hours and hours in endless meetings. Instead, there is more doing and less talking.
I expected to be treated differently around campus, and that proved correct. Many colleagues treated me the same though, and to this day remain as nice (or as not nice!) as they always were. Others? Well, let’s say I became invisible. And I confess to being surprised by who a few of those people were. This was a lesson I am glad to have received because it has made me more aware of how I treat others.
Along those same lines, it became clear that IT would never again respond immediately to one of my service tickets. That was one of the perks of working in the president’s office, right up there with procurement pushing through my POs and facilities rushing over if I saw a mouse. I didn’t know know how good I had it until I moved on.
I have been content to remain a source of historical knowledge. I try to be helpful if asked a question. Otherwise, I stay out of things. I have good relationships within the president’s office and cabinet, and I think that is, in part, because I preface any answer with “this is how I did it, here is the information, now you decide how you want to do it.”
Similarly, I was intentional about my relationship with my replacement. I did all I could to help them be successful. I left files and information about recurring events, for example, and shared contact information for the people with whom they would need to communicate in their new role. Because it was my choice to leave, I went with no hard feelings and no resentment. Just as I made that job mine, they needed to make it theirs. And they have.
A positive thing that happened almost right away was that I realized some people actually spend their evenings and weekends doing things unrelated to work! Really, it’s true. I didn’t realize how much weekend time I devoted to work until it stopped. I didn’t realize how much time I spent away from my family, even when sitting in the same room with them, until I didn’t have to look at “just one more” email or answer “one quick call.”
As a PA, my job included attending a lot of events. Let me reiterate: a lot of events. Now, except for a few mandatory appearances related to my current role, I get to choose what and when to attend. I have more evenings free and many fewer early morning meetings where “breakfast served” means stale rolls and past-its-prime fruit trays. Instead of arriving at the office at 6:00 a.m. and leaving at 6:00 p.m., I now often arrive at 8:00 a.m. and leave at 5:00 p.m. As it turns out, I am perfectly fine with an eight-hour day. You might be too.
I like that I can dress less formally now. I haven’t bought a business suit since before COVID. Some days I wear nice sneakers instead of dress shoes. This is a simple yet wonderful perk of my new role.
Writing this has stirred up some feelings that surprised me. I suspect those contradictory feelings will remain. It is often hard, still, to sit on the sidelines when I used to be in the starting lineup. All in all, I made the right decision for me and for my family. I hope that, should the time come, you make the right decision for yourself and your loved ones.
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