Dear PA Confidential:

There are some admins at my institution who have been here for decades longer than I have, and they seem to resent my being hired from the outside as the presidential assistant. They resist any attempts I make to influence the way we do things administratively. Meanwhile, the president is urging me to step up and lead. How can I win them over and fulfill what he’s asking of me?

In almost any organization, at any level, change is tough, and right now you represent change. I am guessing that if the existing admins have been there for “decades longer” than you, there may also be an age difference in play. Both make your progress difficult but certainly not impossible.  

Think about starting with a meeting, but not a regular meeting. Instead, arrange for a lunch or a breakfast. Sharing a meal tends to loosen people up. Ask everyone to go around the room and introduce themselves and answer a simple question such as what is their favorite book, movie, or musical artist.  This, too, loosens people up because it shows their personal side.

Next, explain to the group that you called them together to talk about ways they – as the institution’s admins – can more effectively work together. Create an agenda in advance, and don’t be afraid to include the issues you are having difficulties with – scheduling, event planning, requesting the president’s attendance at meetings/events, etc. Begin the conversation with something positive that is happening. Then, ask them what they find challenging, being sure to keep the dialog about procedures, policies, and methods, NOT about interpersonal issues. For example, begin the topic of requesting the president’s attendance at events by talking about what is working well – perhaps offices tend to give you plenty of advance notice. Then, ask them what frustrates them about the process – perhaps the president’s office too often can only give a tentative yes. From there, move on to how you can collectively change the procedure to make it better for everyone. Again, refrain from talking about how a specific person never sends suggested talking points. Those types of issues are better addressed outside the group.

You will, no doubt, meet resistance. Maybe it will take a series of meetings. You don’t have to serve a meal at each, maybe just bring something simple like a plate of cookies or a bowl of candy, which gives people something to appreciate. Making steady progress toward collaboration and better working relationships, even if slowly, is the goal.

There are also some subtle things you can do. When you call the type of meeting outlined above, it conveys leadership. YOU are calling the meeting; you will be chairing it. Sit at the head of the table. Respect their time by beginning and ending on time. Send out a summary of the meeting to formalize the discussion and remind everyone of what was agreed upon. Because the directive to become a leader among the admins came from your president, update them on your progress as appropriate.  

Finally, if you ultimately find that one of the admins simply resists any attempt to cooperate, you may have to go beyond the collaborative approach. You might consider meeting one-on-one and having a blunt conversation: “You seem resistant to making any changes at all, and we need to find a way through this.” Those types of conversations are very difficult, even for the most experienced among us.  But, it probably won’t be worse than the scenarios you conjure in your head beforehand. If, after all attempts have failed, a person’s attitude and behavior are truly disruptive, you may have to talk with your president, chief of staff, or another appropriate person. This should truly be a last resort but it is not tattling. It is, instead, facilitating a healthy, collaborative, effective work environment.

There is no reason to feel defensive for not having come up through the institution’s ranks. Sometimes an outside viewpoint is the best thing to happen to an office or an institution.

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